Blank

Wish I could just go back in time, go back to my old self and tell her how things would get more and more complicated as she grew, and how she should just enjoy even more what she is living.
Everybody goes as far as they can...
Wish I could go back in time and live all those moments all over again; knowing how badly I would miss them just after that, knowing what would come next.
I Wish I could just tear away that feeling in my heart, that little voice in my head, that thing that's putting me down and letting me there.
Everybody goes leaving those who fall behind...

Sound of silence.

There's some wounds that will never heal, some missing pieces that cannot be replaced, emptiness you can't fill again. All those people, and things you lack, are like a whole swallowing you each day a bit more. That whole of darkness is making you suffocate. But how is it possible to make it through when you feel secrets are still around, and you don't have a clue ? How is it possible to find answers when the only person who could have replied has disappeared forever ? how to swim through those dark water to reach the surface again ? So many things that could be explained by such a thesis, so many lacking pieces of the puzzle that would fall back to their places. Even if answers were found, one question will always stay unanswered : how to heal from emptiness ? How to forget the whole left by the ones you miss, the terrible sound of silence ? Is it possible to fight against nothingness ?

picture : Lina Tesh her blog and her homepage

Showdown

Everything has fallen apart around me

this pressure is still there come what may

Everything is a blur around me

and yet i have to find a way

something that could make me wanna stay

Everything is diying around me

and i'm suffocating again

cause there's no one left to ease my pain

broken mirrors and broken fate

You can always try but no one will ever answer.

How to fix something that was blown in million little pieces,

how to find someone you can trust among millions of faces ?

Broken mirrors, shedding blood and tears,

finally reflect the hidden reality.

Broken mirrors sweeping everything away

as you can no longuer stay.

Loud voices and noises bringing our home down

in its last but at least loud crack down.

Long live the King

Because he was one of the best thing that ever happen to music. Because he was a philanthropist, even if everybody forgot about that. And because he was the only Music Genius we've ever known during this century...
Because he was my living dream, this 26th of august was supposed to be one of the greatest day of my life.
Because what he was to me, what his music was to me, i can't hide my deep sadness for my broken heart is still hoping to hear his death was a stupid joke.
You were not supposed to leave us so early michael, but even if you're gone, you will ALWAYS be with us through your music, your words and your dance.
Someone tell me why did you have to go
Love you Michael.

Tout reste à faire

(i decided to erase the article, cause it was 2 years old, but wanted to leave the audio ;))

That's the end, and that's the stard of it

Ce blog commence dans la "douleur", pour les superstitieux ce n'est sans doute pas la meilleure des choses à faire, mais si vous me connaissez vous saurez que je ne suis pas superstitieuse.
Bizarement j'avais créé ce blog il y a longtemps, mais ce n'est que maintenant que j'ai envie d'écrire ici. Et par dessus tout d'écrire sur elle.
Elle qui a fermé les yeux jeudi soir, le soir du nouvel an, la veille de ses 16 ans.elle en avait 16, j'en ai 17, comptez et vous verrez que j'ai passé la majeur partie de ma vie avec cette boule de poil
aussi loin que ma mémoire remonte il y a jenny avec moi
toutes ces habitudes que j'avais prises, me font mal aujourd'hui.
Lundi je n'aurai personne à qui parlait en me levant, quand mon père sera déjà parti et moi seule à la maison.C'était peut être qu'un chien, un minuscule chien, mais elle représentait tellement pour moi. Elle était là tout le temps avec moi, à chaque vacances, chaque nouvelle destination, chaque nouvelle étape. Encore cette année, elle était dans la voiture pour m'amener à ma dernière rentrée au lycée, sa dernière rentrée aussi.Je sais tout ça peut paraitre dérisoire voir désué mais je n'arrive pas à m'y faire. Au fond de moi je pensais que mon chien ne me quitterait jamais. Malheureusement ce jour est arrivé. Tout semble si vide ici à présent.Je ne pourrait jamais l'oublier, ni cette douleur que j'éprouve à l'idée de ne pas avoir pu lui dire au revoir.
Une nouvelle année commence alors que sa vie s'achève, la boucle est bouclée me forcant à grandir plus vite que prévu.